Make Me Understand
Why should I be contained? Or controlled?
What is this intense need to curb my sexuality, to diminish my urges, to trample my desires? Why am I called a slut, a whore, a sinner?
Why isn’t Mary’s womb venerated and worshipped? Why is she ‘just’ a vessel? “Virgin birth” What difference would it have made, I wonder. Would Jesus not have been Jesus, if he was not born of a virgin, like the rest of us? What hope does the entire human race have then, who were all cared for and made in their mothers’ wombs?
Can we not achieve Godly things? Is a ‘virgin’ birth the answer to producing a faultless human?
Why are my parents so worried? Because they gave birth to a defenceless baby girl? Who has grown up, with everyone and everything, telling her that she needs protection. Why?
Why does my mother forbid me to wear shorts? Why does my father need hourly updates of my whereabouts?
Why is my sexual drive seen as offensive, obscene, indecent? Why do my elders discuss all this with me, in hushed tones? Why have I been conditioned to always keep a lookout; why am I taught to be apprehensive, anxious, every minute, every day?
Why am I asked to sit a certain way? Why am I asked to wear certain clothes? What difference it would make, I wonder. Are girls who are fully covered, not teased, not misbehaved with? Are women, who don’t speak unless spoken to, not disrespected, raped?
Why is my sexuality questioned?
Why am I interrogated so much?
Why is my existence caged?
Make me understand.